An Excerpt

I'm sort of slowly writing this book called living memory. I have a lot of rogue thoughts that need to escape somewhere. The more prepared, polished and "colloquialised" ones go on here most of the time, but I keep other parts, building them up part by part, sentence by sentence, until they are long enough to read as tiny novels. Novelettes. They're like little windows into my mind. I love the idea that you can all see that, and see how my mind works, even if only for a few moments.
I must admit it is weird to write into an empty space, my general thoughts and the goings-on of my life, and then every-so-often to have someone come up to me and say "Hey, that last post was really good! Nice one!". It's the sort of thing that promotes a fuzzy feeling. But not the kind when you accidentally touch something mouldy; the kind when you're genuinely taken by surprise and it pleases you that someone out there takes the time to read.
So, here's a little excerpt of a chapter I started a while ago. In fact, you can have all of it, it's not that long.

Structuring
I think that my life must have some base, some form of backbone, or it is just as I would be without one- useless, unable to move, unstructured. I enjoy having somebody there to tell me over and over again that I keep getting it wrong and I must try harder. It’s a thoroughly enjoyable experience for me.
I’d like to think that my friends feel the same way but alas this is not always the case, and it has been the sole subject of many a heated discussion over the lunch table, or occurring on the long walk home. If I turn left when we leave school it takes me ten minutes to get home but if I choose (as I so often do) to turn right and accompany my friends their ways home, then I take sometimes two hours. It is something to be expected as their way is much longer ad more laborious by far- hills, large busy roads with little choice but to run across when you dare.
It’s all about spirit and courage; sometimes on a cold day you could be waiting at the side of the road for five or ten minutes before someone lets you across… Or before there is a sizeable gap through which you can transport yourself. Getting safely to the other side is my main worry once I have stepped off that curb.
I find it a frightening prospect when we work very hard for only a short time and then we have a holiday. I feel undeserving- adults work harder but their holidays are strikingly shorter than ours. But now, now is bliss for me.
I love my A-Levels. They are very hard work but they force you to think and comprehend in new dimensions and accelerate your learning until you fabricate an entirely new plane of thought. Today, as with many days in the future and many in the past, I’ve worked a proper work-shift- nine to five. Two hours of Law, Three hours of German, followed by top-ups for both subjects at the local library. I like working hard. I seem to be one of the few people who does, but it is useful.
So today I got up at twenty to seven, just like every other day in the last two weeks. Including weekends, that is- as my body-clock has now managed to set itself for around that time. Useful, I must say. Because I’m waking up naturally I’m not feeling as if I’ve been shaken awake from the deepest recesses of unconsciousness- which is evidently what used to happen because I used to remain groggy for a good while after waking. That proverbial poke-with-a-stick is no longer something I have to suffer, and it is a lovely feeling. I do quite enjoy it. I’m becoming less reliant on technology as I get older, even though the market is expanding.
It is this sort of gentle coercion, which amounts to my being able to go on working day in, day out for months on end. I am doing things I am interested in. I make sure I take little breaks to do what I want. I am truly rather happy bumbling along on my own, like a lone wolf. I get on very well on my own.
That’s not to say I don’t have friends, of course I have a few connections. But, I am not very old. I am sixteen. Too many connections can prove dangerous; influential; off-putting in terms of work. I don’t like the idea that someone else could (even accidentally) be influencing me or dragging me away from work. I will do that myself!
My family thinks I’m mad, they really do. I tell them (as a non-spiteful but still good comeback) that it’s genetic. The structures of our genes have to be the same somewhere.

I love it though, I really do. I love my life and the way I have no idea what the heck will happen next; it makes me try harder to bias the odds in my favour- even a little. As Tesco would so brightly put it- “Every little helps”.



          So there you have it.
Feedback when you next see me/visit my Facebook page, please.


Happy reading, folks!

SUDDENLY...

I have updated rather a lot since the last post! Firstly; I keep getting ill and things are going a bit wrong so I can't really eat much at the moment. The upside of this is that I get to eat ice cream; the downside is, I'm not particularly fond of ice cream. So, I could opt for ice... (we're talking pain regarding tonsils and teeth here) but it's a little too...icy... I see... (tehehe) so I've stuck with ice cream so far.

I had tonsillitis a couple of weeks back and it was quite horrible- I used to get it all the time as a child but now it's not so frequent. In fact, I don't get ill very often generally. The problem is, when I do manage to contract some disease (viral bacterial, idiotic), I get it rather badly and it can knock me out of the loop for a good week or so. My mother, who knows me well, brought me a newspaper and ten yoghurts. I got better (not before I'd lost half a stone, but hey- it doesn't happen so often so it's not so bad).

ALSO! NEWS... My jaw is hurting. Big time. No, I did not try to impersonate a snake and dislocate it or anything; it just hurts on the right hand side. At the joint part, which suggests that it is growing wrong even more than it already has. Whoop-de-do. However, I must say, as half of the pain is due to teething, I can't complain as it's easily fixable; just remove the teeth...

You see, a couple of days ago I was walking along, and SUDDENLY my jaw seized up. I gotta tell you, it's a weird feeling, finding that. You go to talk and you sound like some sort of imbecilic child with a huge gobstopper in its mouth. Or some sort of imbecilic teenage girl giving.... [teenage girls a much-unneeded slutty stereotype?}... Anyway, yes. You get the gist. I am told part of this is due to my wisdom teeth growing through. "WHAT?! Wisdom teeth?" I said, hoping that my always-correct mother, er, wasn't; "It can't be true! I'm not even wise! What are they DOING?!"

I'll tell you what they're doing, they're boring a bloody hold into the side of my mouth, that's what it feels like they're doing. Little enamelly bastards.

Also, I decided to give year seven the benefit of the doubt and give them two weeks to do a piece of homework which should take ten minutes. While explaining it to them (keep it short and sweet, they have little attention span...) I clearly stated, thrice (dammit!) that under no circumstances were they to put their names on the paper. One of the children proceeded to begin filling out the form. But, of course, not before he'd (with admirable clarity and neatness) put his name at the top. Half of me was proud that handwriting isn't quite dead yet. The other half was seething that ten seconds after an instruction, this young man had decided it didn't matter. Pah.

They don't know it yet, but if any of them have put their names on the top, I will be taking them aside and saying that not only did I state this was not to be done but it is also WRITTEN at the top of the paper. I'm afraid, young ones, that sometimes your idiocy steps in front of you, and ignorance makes you look a fool.

The little enamelly bastards problem will (hopefully) be either sorted (strong painkillers under prescription or something!) on the First of April... Or made worse by the added happiness-hindrance of braces. Bastard braces. and not the cool old-fashioned ones for holding up your trousers, either. No, oh boy, no. These little wires of joy/hell will be attached to my teeth for the next who-knows-how-long. I'm sixteen.... It could be until I'm nearly twenty. I don't want to think about that much!

School is going splendidly, thanks for asking. Law is great fun, as usual. Politics will become so when we begin revising for the exams and they help us with quickfire sessions; those help me a great deal. Etcetera, etcetera- I must go to bed, I'm knackered and I have a consultation in the morning with my tutor. Somehow the word "woooo" doesn't cover it...

bored, bord, board, bored...

The first signifies I have nothing to do.
The second would signify I have no, or few, brain cells.
The third is entirely more planky than lacking entertainment...
And the fourth reminds me of sciences tests, apples and potatoes.

Welcome (again, or for the first time) to my blog, where I... er... Blog, I suppose. Today has been a chilled out day. I wasn't due in school until eleven and there was no homework to be done so I tried (note TRIED) to sleep in for a bit. Nevertheless, my attempts were in vain and I got up at arond nine thirty (after cheerful but sleepy chat with Mr. Wonderful) and ate some cheerios while continuing my latest book (I read them, not write them)- this one is by Jeffery Archer and it's called "The Fourth Estate".

I find it very eaasy to work out who authors are through the styles of their books. Archer's usually have at least one character who comes from a poor, damaged country (in Kane and Abel this would be Abel) and who rises to the top of society through sheer dumb luck and a little bit of indispensible knowledge. In both Kane and Abel, and The Fourth Estate, the character from a poor country ends up in a long-enduring fight for supremacy (K&A focuses on money; TFE on newspapers and media sources). both books are pretty good, though TFE seems to drag on a bit- especially if you're reading to a deadline and you're tired. Which I am, very.

I should be finished with TFE in the next hour; then onto "Thrill" by Jackie Collins. I loved the first book of hers that I read, "Lovers and Players", and I look forward to reading my next planned installment of her writing style. She makes stories interesting without there having to be constant drama after drama, such as in soaps on the TV. I like reading much better. With TV it is hard to analyse characters.

I considered writing a book about my past, present, and my hopes for the future, but I then realised that at the age of sixteen I do not want to sound or appear facetious, I do not feel my life has been used to its full yet, I haven't achieved any major feats, I am not famous and I never EVER want to be compared to Justin Bieber, no matter how small the similarity between the two of us.

I've no homework to do- today I managed to do a piece before the teacher had even set it and therefore have provided myself with a free evening in which I can do what I please (wonderful! I have constantly been reading since I came home).

Everybody else is moaning about the amount of work they have to do. I was actually smart for once and did nearly all of it in the holidays. I feel I can control my work much better now.

Of course, what you don't all know is that f I don't do it I get so stressed out about letting people down that I panic properly and become pretty much insane after a while...

Happy reading, folks!