The amount of time I have to do things is usually a lot more than the time it takes to do them. Washing up, eating, watching Television- all of these things are done very fast in my world. This is because i am trying to minimise the amount of time I spend with the conspirators. This is the nickname I have for the people in my household. From now on I will try to refer to them collectively as this as it will help.
Anyway, today, I was trying to wash up and afterwards I came stright into my bedroom and wiped my red, soapy hands on my quilt cover. This is how low I am beginning to feel- I would rather do that, than ask somebody where the teatowel (dishcloth) is. I just can't seem to spend a lot of time with these people. It makes me feel very isolated.
Today at dinner I knocked a piece of broccoli out of the bowl. So (having no serving spoon) I picked it up and put it back in the bowl. My mother shouted at me. "But, mother," (I reasoned) "I wash my hands before the meal and the mat is clean." She said that other people would not want to eat the food after I had touched it. She also had a go at me for taking seconds. I wasn't- But the good vegetables are at the bottom of the bowl so I waited for everybody else to get theirs (suckers!) before delving in myself.
The other thing that pissed me off at dinner was the three of them nattering away over the news, which is an important thing for me to know about, as my A-Levels revolve, for the main part, around current affairs. However, the conspirators insisted instead upon ruining my viewing experience by the means of potatoes. Never was there such a conversation to drive me mad as one about potatoes! I am sitting there getting more and more infuriated but I know, I know if I so much as open my mouth to say "Be quiet please" they will all get annoyed at me. Usually they tell me off for talking over the news. Anyway, the two adults are talking about why she likes Aunt Bessie's potatoes and he doesn't. This is a stupid conversation. I think of asking them not to waste their precious words on such a trivial matter, but it occurs to me that by verbally acknowledging the exchange I will sink as low as them. So I stay quiet. But this conversation lasts for ten minutes. "This is ridiculous," I think. "Ten minutes? Of your life? On potatoes? REALLY?! You will probably continue to talk about them in bed this evening, or maybe email each other about it or talk about it while you sit next to each other at work tomorrow."
Mother always complains she doesn't get a moment of rest. She is the same as her mother was. They make up things to do and then when they get ill and can't do them it doesn't matter and those acts they say are so needed, are actually rather inconsequential. And it makes me wonder, "Did you ever need to do it at all? Or do you just like being stressed and busy and filling your time?" I am also ashamed this has not been passed down to me in some way. It is like I am missing the right wiring. I think very differently to the others. I don't tell my friends my true opinions sometimes because I know they will be outraged. It is silly really.
I am beginning to think that they want to drive me insane. Perhaps I will change this blog's name to "The Insanity Chronicles". Perhaps not. TIC is an awful acronym for a blog. Not that EION is much better. EION looks like an electrical company. Damn it. I am being finicky. And therefore, I finish communication for today with a hearty (slightly mad) farewell.
But first! I have been reading a new book. In the last three weeks I read Jilly Cooper's "Jump" and Richard Hammond's "On The Edge: My Story". Both quite good. Cooper is brilliant at fiction. This week I am reading a book my Marina Lewycka called "A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian". Excellent. It is excellent. I highly recommend it, provided you can stand the strong characters.
Happy reading, folks!
Sunday 30 January 2011
Fooling around?
Today was meant to be a homework day. Tpday was meant to be a day where I got up, had something to eat, and then set about the tasks I have been assigned in school. But it wasn't destined to be.
Instead, got up at eleven thirty. Went rollerblading, awesome, very tiring (nearly wrote anstrengend there, which is the german word for tiring...) came back, took off socks (trust me on this one - in rollerblades even when it is one degree outside your feet boil!) and then went out to meet a friend. We went to another friend (mine only, non-shared connection) and I bought a huge amount of goat curry and jerk chicken. I then proceeded to eat it while walking home very slowly. Once home I put all the bones in a saucepan and boiled them in water, adding stock (chicken), pepper and some dried herbs. After twenty minutes, I strained the mixture and put it in a mug.
Four hours later, having read my Law book (a few pages), watched some T.V. (House to myself!) and caught a hamster (younger child is annoyingly easily distracted and forgetful), I returned to the now-chilled soup, warmed it, put some bread in it to bulk it up a bit, and had it for dinner. A note here, folks. NEVER eat three hundred grams of spicy goat curry and jerk chicken on your own. And then repeat said spicyness for next meal. I feel... SO regretful right now... Plus, don't add insult to injury by drinking Dr. Pepper. It's... Just not a smooth move, don't try it, you will feel like you are about to explode and it will ruin the rest of your day. It... I can only describe it as something close to the feeling if you eat a mento(s?) and have a few sips of coca cola. It is rather unpleasant. And you spend hours feeling like a blimp. Fun? Not really...
Anyway, actually, my main effort for this post isn't to complain, it's to make my boyfriend love me more (uh-oh) by saying that the T.V. I watched (and ended up being fascinated by!) was Top Gear.
For those of you who don't know, it's a car-themed Television show where an absurdly tall man (Jeremy Clarkson: opinionated, funny, sometimes stupid and slightly unthinking), an absurdly shorter man (Richard Hammond: also funny, brilliant, but seems different after his crash in a car at 200mph...) and a strangely old-fashioned man (James May: generally made fun of by the others, but really, really awesome- even if those clothes are from long ago) all present together and get set daft tasks, while maintaining a huge degree of fun in explaining even the most complicated car. This may sound somewhat boring. However, to me, the girl who, until now has had little interest in cars and such, this is a revelation. There is nothing to me so pleasing as finding out that if I pursue this I will be able to talk to Mr. Wonderful about much more without him worrying about boring me. And I'll understand it.
Today they let James drive the Vauxhall Insignia VXR. [[vauxhall‑insignia‑vxr‑23‑06‑09.jpg]]. I think it looks beautiful in black. I think most cars look better in black. There is something more professional about them... Anyway, it has three drive modes, Normal, Sport (hardens up suspension a little to say the least), or VXR, which means the throttle control is touch-perfect and the suspension is an animal. The difference is stratling, fun, and I can see that letting anyone like my racing friend Nick loose on this car would see it returned looking distinctly....out of puff, to say the least. I know men who will happily crash cars for the sake of finding out what it takes. Seriously.
Also, they named the Car Of The Decade... (Old episode, you can see) For 2000 to 2010, their choice was (drumroll) the Bugatti Veyron.
[[http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.supercars.dk/cars/bugatti/bugatti-veyron.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.supercars.dk/bugatti/bugatti-veyron_d234m27.aspx&usg=__w6f8ZV5ShhLifRegNhhQQcgigSk=&h=1024&w=1280&sz=553&hl=en&start=0&sig2=FBbhw4iop2L8f_DGA2-tOA&zoom=1&tbnid=yGSlI29H_Qf-BM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=147&ei=wchETaOEMcGwhQfw4723AQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbugatti%2Bveyron%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D574%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C38&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=943&oei=wchETaOEMcGwhQfw4723AQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0&tx=62&ty=83&biw=1024&bih=574]]
It's beautiful. And yes, it really is worth copying and pasting that code into your search bar.
I have to say though, and everyone will forever know this of me... Buy me an Audi R8 and I will love you. Not that I can drive (legally, theoretically or really....Yet...) but, that, folks, is not the point.
Tomorrow will be a work day. Ugh. Wish me luck.
Happy reading, folks!
Instead, got up at eleven thirty. Went rollerblading, awesome, very tiring (nearly wrote anstrengend there, which is the german word for tiring...) came back, took off socks (trust me on this one - in rollerblades even when it is one degree outside your feet boil!) and then went out to meet a friend. We went to another friend (mine only, non-shared connection) and I bought a huge amount of goat curry and jerk chicken. I then proceeded to eat it while walking home very slowly. Once home I put all the bones in a saucepan and boiled them in water, adding stock (chicken), pepper and some dried herbs. After twenty minutes, I strained the mixture and put it in a mug.
Four hours later, having read my Law book (a few pages), watched some T.V. (House to myself!) and caught a hamster (younger child is annoyingly easily distracted and forgetful), I returned to the now-chilled soup, warmed it, put some bread in it to bulk it up a bit, and had it for dinner. A note here, folks. NEVER eat three hundred grams of spicy goat curry and jerk chicken on your own. And then repeat said spicyness for next meal. I feel... SO regretful right now... Plus, don't add insult to injury by drinking Dr. Pepper. It's... Just not a smooth move, don't try it, you will feel like you are about to explode and it will ruin the rest of your day. It... I can only describe it as something close to the feeling if you eat a mento(s?) and have a few sips of coca cola. It is rather unpleasant. And you spend hours feeling like a blimp. Fun? Not really...
Anyway, actually, my main effort for this post isn't to complain, it's to make my boyfriend love me more (uh-oh) by saying that the T.V. I watched (and ended up being fascinated by!) was Top Gear.
For those of you who don't know, it's a car-themed Television show where an absurdly tall man (Jeremy Clarkson: opinionated, funny, sometimes stupid and slightly unthinking), an absurdly shorter man (Richard Hammond: also funny, brilliant, but seems different after his crash in a car at 200mph...) and a strangely old-fashioned man (James May: generally made fun of by the others, but really, really awesome- even if those clothes are from long ago) all present together and get set daft tasks, while maintaining a huge degree of fun in explaining even the most complicated car. This may sound somewhat boring. However, to me, the girl who, until now has had little interest in cars and such, this is a revelation. There is nothing to me so pleasing as finding out that if I pursue this I will be able to talk to Mr. Wonderful about much more without him worrying about boring me. And I'll understand it.
Today they let James drive the Vauxhall Insignia VXR. [[vauxhall‑insignia‑vxr‑23‑06‑09.jpg]]. I think it looks beautiful in black. I think most cars look better in black. There is something more professional about them... Anyway, it has three drive modes, Normal, Sport (hardens up suspension a little to say the least), or VXR, which means the throttle control is touch-perfect and the suspension is an animal. The difference is stratling, fun, and I can see that letting anyone like my racing friend Nick loose on this car would see it returned looking distinctly....out of puff, to say the least. I know men who will happily crash cars for the sake of finding out what it takes. Seriously.
Also, they named the Car Of The Decade... (Old episode, you can see) For 2000 to 2010, their choice was (drumroll) the Bugatti Veyron.
[[http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.supercars.dk/cars/bugatti/bugatti-veyron.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.supercars.dk/bugatti/bugatti-veyron_d234m27.aspx&usg=__w6f8ZV5ShhLifRegNhhQQcgigSk=&h=1024&w=1280&sz=553&hl=en&start=0&sig2=FBbhw4iop2L8f_DGA2-tOA&zoom=1&tbnid=yGSlI29H_Qf-BM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=147&ei=wchETaOEMcGwhQfw4723AQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbugatti%2Bveyron%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D574%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C38&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=943&oei=wchETaOEMcGwhQfw4723AQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0&tx=62&ty=83&biw=1024&bih=574]]
It's beautiful. And yes, it really is worth copying and pasting that code into your search bar.
I have to say though, and everyone will forever know this of me... Buy me an Audi R8 and I will love you. Not that I can drive (legally, theoretically or really....Yet...) but, that, folks, is not the point.
Tomorrow will be a work day. Ugh. Wish me luck.
Happy reading, folks!
Thursday 27 January 2011
Priorities... They don't make sense much.
When I'm bad at a subject at school I don't enjoy it, so I work less at it, and more at the other subjects, and then it falls further behind in my "realms of achievement and joy". Look, everybody, another phrase for a place in my head that I JUST made up and will.... Probably never use again. Oh dear. Never mind; I digress.
Politics (that is, "Government and Politics"), one of my chosen A-Levels, is beginning to more than just annoy me slightly. It is now getting to the point where I think that maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for those few effort-filled hours (in vain, usually), it would be nicer, less stressful, and more peaceful, if I were to cease to exist. That would be just grand. But no, I feel a need to put myself through this torture.
Is this an English person thing? It seems that we do things, as a race, to create more problems and to piss ourselves and others off. If there's nothing to complain about, then we complain about the lack of having anything to complain about... Which technically nullifies our argument, but there you go. The English are not a very, er... Logical race. We have many words for the same thing. Look up sex in a thesaurus and you will feel one of two emotions; ecstasy at how many words there are, or outrage because there can't be opportunities to use them all, can there? Anyway, I'm trying to illustrate that English people can be quite daft. Our language is daft. Someone once said it was compiled by "three blind Germans and a dictionary". Not far off, my noble friend.
We English like to have things our way. I like to sleep the wrong way up on my bed when I'm stressed. This manifests itself in the fact that every night for the past week I have turned in my sleep. Last night I literally said "sod it" and just put my pillows up that end. I was happy. I am happy being mad. Madness creates a sort of shroud; people don't go near you as much or look you in the eye, for fear of you going crazy or them seeing how truly wicked you are, respectively. Anyway, we complain about the rain and the cold all the time, me included, and I'm fed up of it. I'm not fat, but I'm not thin. I don't really get all the cold, I don't get the freezy-freezy feeling that makes you feel you could snuggle up to some frozen peas and feel warmed. It doesn't happen like that. But, despite having lived all my life in England, I am still forgetting how cold and rainy it is, and to be honest I complain about it all the time. But I love it secretly.
Anyway, yes, priorities. Mine have been a bit jumbled. Balancing home and school would be easy, if I didn't have other stuff to do as well... I do (try to do) a lot of sport. But, I got fired from my job (ill for two months, no, they didn't like that much... And I really was...) so I have, genuinely, no money. So less sport. Which means excess energy. Which means I'm not concentrating in school. I haven't done much homework in weeks- sure, I do the odd spot when I feel like it, but mainly my afternoons and evenings consist of sitting in my bedroom trying to work out how quickly I can read all the books on my shelf. Or dancing. Or on the phone. Or on youtube, and facebook, and failbook, and failblog, and doing random reading. As you can tell, homework does not take the gold plinth in the competition of important-ness.
My mother has been feeling quite awful for a while and a few days ago (I say this, I mean two weeks. Time passes oddly for me) she went to the doctor, who did some superficial tests, nothing dramatic. But they found something was wrong. She now has weird medication. It looks nasty. She's tired all the time, and had/ has to go to hospital for tests as well now. Stressful. Also, her boyfriend (who has lived with us with his daughter since June 2008) has a heart condition. We went on holiday to France and he got a fruit salad. Uh-oh- grapefruit. Nopedy-nooo. Not on his medication. He was not a happy fruit fly. Add these to the fact his daughter has some weird skin issues which mean she itches all the time and has to use steroid cream (which doesn't work) and hair cream (which thankfully DID work and managed to stop her going bald and get her hair to grow back).
My mum has this policy. If she finds a little hairball, she puts it in the girl's schoolbag. So far it has been effective at stopping hairball droppage around the flat. I think it stems from the fact that quite frankly no twelve year old girl wants to open their schoolbag to have what resembles a tiny poodle falling out. Let alone thirty of them. Think of all the tiny leads you'd have to buy!
Anyway. This means my priorities are now...
Sleep
Mum getting better
Mikolaj
Sport
School
Work
etc.
Hence, my...Er... priorities perhaps aren't wuite in order. I suppose it's finding that balance between what you want, and what you actually don't want to do now, but you know will be better in the long run.
Also, Tuesday night, I almost forgot, mum and boyfriend had HUGE argument. I mean, this was four hours of whisper-yelling in the kitchen until it got to the point where they were both going crazy and she was having a cigarette every ten minutes. I have never liked her smoking, it's kind of gross in my opinion, but there's not much I can really do. Once you know the risks, it's in your hands, I suppose. They yelled about EVERYTHING (almost. I mean we're not getting into any quantum huge random subjects stuff here, but most of it was about trust and money and love, and all that other crap you never want to hear the adults that run your household arguing about). It was dreadful. They were up until almost three. I was sleepy. That was the first night I turned my pillows to the bottom of the bed. It was fun to wake up and think "What the-oh, it's all okay. Never mind." Also, the second morning, I woke up real fast and got up into the wall (forgetting I was round the other way). Started the day with half-hearted nosebleed. Nothing gets you up quicker than blood seeping out of your face though, fun!
Thanks for reading, folks!
Politics (that is, "Government and Politics"), one of my chosen A-Levels, is beginning to more than just annoy me slightly. It is now getting to the point where I think that maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for those few effort-filled hours (in vain, usually), it would be nicer, less stressful, and more peaceful, if I were to cease to exist. That would be just grand. But no, I feel a need to put myself through this torture.
Is this an English person thing? It seems that we do things, as a race, to create more problems and to piss ourselves and others off. If there's nothing to complain about, then we complain about the lack of having anything to complain about... Which technically nullifies our argument, but there you go. The English are not a very, er... Logical race. We have many words for the same thing. Look up sex in a thesaurus and you will feel one of two emotions; ecstasy at how many words there are, or outrage because there can't be opportunities to use them all, can there? Anyway, I'm trying to illustrate that English people can be quite daft. Our language is daft. Someone once said it was compiled by "three blind Germans and a dictionary". Not far off, my noble friend.
We English like to have things our way. I like to sleep the wrong way up on my bed when I'm stressed. This manifests itself in the fact that every night for the past week I have turned in my sleep. Last night I literally said "sod it" and just put my pillows up that end. I was happy. I am happy being mad. Madness creates a sort of shroud; people don't go near you as much or look you in the eye, for fear of you going crazy or them seeing how truly wicked you are, respectively. Anyway, we complain about the rain and the cold all the time, me included, and I'm fed up of it. I'm not fat, but I'm not thin. I don't really get all the cold, I don't get the freezy-freezy feeling that makes you feel you could snuggle up to some frozen peas and feel warmed. It doesn't happen like that. But, despite having lived all my life in England, I am still forgetting how cold and rainy it is, and to be honest I complain about it all the time. But I love it secretly.
Anyway, yes, priorities. Mine have been a bit jumbled. Balancing home and school would be easy, if I didn't have other stuff to do as well... I do (try to do) a lot of sport. But, I got fired from my job (ill for two months, no, they didn't like that much... And I really was...) so I have, genuinely, no money. So less sport. Which means excess energy. Which means I'm not concentrating in school. I haven't done much homework in weeks- sure, I do the odd spot when I feel like it, but mainly my afternoons and evenings consist of sitting in my bedroom trying to work out how quickly I can read all the books on my shelf. Or dancing. Or on the phone. Or on youtube, and facebook, and failbook, and failblog, and doing random reading. As you can tell, homework does not take the gold plinth in the competition of important-ness.
My mother has been feeling quite awful for a while and a few days ago (I say this, I mean two weeks. Time passes oddly for me) she went to the doctor, who did some superficial tests, nothing dramatic. But they found something was wrong. She now has weird medication. It looks nasty. She's tired all the time, and had/ has to go to hospital for tests as well now. Stressful. Also, her boyfriend (who has lived with us with his daughter since June 2008) has a heart condition. We went on holiday to France and he got a fruit salad. Uh-oh- grapefruit. Nopedy-nooo. Not on his medication. He was not a happy fruit fly. Add these to the fact his daughter has some weird skin issues which mean she itches all the time and has to use steroid cream (which doesn't work) and hair cream (which thankfully DID work and managed to stop her going bald and get her hair to grow back).
My mum has this policy. If she finds a little hairball, she puts it in the girl's schoolbag. So far it has been effective at stopping hairball droppage around the flat. I think it stems from the fact that quite frankly no twelve year old girl wants to open their schoolbag to have what resembles a tiny poodle falling out. Let alone thirty of them. Think of all the tiny leads you'd have to buy!
Anyway. This means my priorities are now...
Sleep
Mum getting better
Mikolaj
Sport
School
Work
etc.
Hence, my...Er... priorities perhaps aren't wuite in order. I suppose it's finding that balance between what you want, and what you actually don't want to do now, but you know will be better in the long run.
Also, Tuesday night, I almost forgot, mum and boyfriend had HUGE argument. I mean, this was four hours of whisper-yelling in the kitchen until it got to the point where they were both going crazy and she was having a cigarette every ten minutes. I have never liked her smoking, it's kind of gross in my opinion, but there's not much I can really do. Once you know the risks, it's in your hands, I suppose. They yelled about EVERYTHING (almost. I mean we're not getting into any quantum huge random subjects stuff here, but most of it was about trust and money and love, and all that other crap you never want to hear the adults that run your household arguing about). It was dreadful. They were up until almost three. I was sleepy. That was the first night I turned my pillows to the bottom of the bed. It was fun to wake up and think "What the-oh, it's all okay. Never mind." Also, the second morning, I woke up real fast and got up into the wall (forgetting I was round the other way). Started the day with half-hearted nosebleed. Nothing gets you up quicker than blood seeping out of your face though, fun!
Thanks for reading, folks!
Tuesday 25 January 2011
*Muffled scream*
Apologies for not having posted in nine days, I have been at least partially put off by two main factors: bloggy-blog's suckiness at saving and posting when I ask it to, and the ongoing domestic we seem to be having in our household.
First off, Mr. Wonderful did something magic to my computer and now the huge, old, whirring box I have in my room, actually has a virus protection system, which is good, because I hadn't updated it for two years (sometimes I really just don't think about how important something is). The turning point came when I tried to go on a school website, using a link through google. Trust me, when you click that link expecting "Term dates" and get something a little more along the lines of "Tits and dames" you start thinking maybe a firewall is, after all, something useful and efficient and not quite as daft as it sounds. The avast I have now is wonderful and updates every day, and the best bit of it (sorry to revolve around money for a bit) is the fact that all this clear-up was free. Brilliant for me!
Secondly, this was why the blog refused to update so the fact I can now type this with confidence is a milestone in my computer's (limited) development. Whoop!
Thirdly, I've been a little battered-not in the fish sense- the past few days. On Sunday night my father rang... the gist of the conversation was that he didn't know where his black jacket had gone. I quote... "I bet your mother gave it away. The bitch, fucking bitch..." At which point I interrupted and told him I couldn't listen to that any more, and gave the phone to my mum because I had no idea what he was talking about. He went kind of mental at her... He does that sometimes. Dad moved out a week before my tenth birthday. I'm seventeen this coming June... Does anybody in their right mind keep a jacket this long? No, sorry.
Monday night, more trouble. This time the little sister decided that telling lies wasn't such a bad thing even when she had no idea what she was talking about- for reference all you need are the words "naked, sex, bad, disallowed" and compare them with what actually occurred which was "fully clothed, stupid question, bedroom door already closed, fuck off". That was only the start. Next, the parents came home. Ohhhh, that wasn't fun. Mother comes in. Mother says she knows it didn't happen. Mother and her boyfriend argue over this- he doesn't believe his sweet little... bundle of joy... could lie to him. Guess what though, it's happened before. It'll happen again. He never gets angry at her for it and he never tells her off for anything. Argument peaked when mother's boyfriend managed to bring his own daughter's lies round to the assumption that I had lost my boyfriend his job, he had lost me mine, we were bad influences for each other. Why couldn't we follow the rules? My mother was a good influence for him, etcetera, etcetera. It was ridiculous. I dimly recall shouting something like "you have no place in saying that, this is stupid, once again for having done nothing wrong I am reduced to fuck all, thanks for fucking nothing" and walking out.
I made mistakes. I left my keys, mobile, and the majority of my money at home. This prompted my mother to call my boyfriend at around quarter past eleven, asking him if I was there. Not ony was the answer no, but also this meant that Mr. Wonderful went a little insane too. I can see why- a sixteen year old girl disappears into the night, there's no way to find her and, to top it all off, mum didn't have my new mobile number... Not that it mattered, I'd left my phone at home...
I went to talk to the father of a friend. He set things very straight. He also said he was scheduled to talk to said friend this Thursday, about her excessive drug use. And the fact that no, he wouldn't give her any money. She got three Cs at GCSE. Get into College, check. Then she failed to attend.Quit College, check. Point is, He found me on his doorstep at eleven,sobbing and freezing cold. We had a cup of tea. Lady Grey. Good stuff. I went home, not realising the trouble I'd caused with my mother... Who was outside smoking and crying non-stop. When I came round the corner from our house she half collapsed onto the pavement. It was the worst I have ever seen her, not even when my dad hit her or when her mother died or when her dad died or when I snapped my leg (clumsiness), was she one tenth as bad. It was like seeing her die, in part.
We went inside, back into the flat. Warmth was good. I said, "You can slap me now." She said, "Call Mikolaj." That was all she could get out until I'd finished the phone call. Bad phone call. He picked up the phone...
"Hallo?"
"Hey."
"Where have you been? Are you okay? Why didn't you pick up your phone?"
"I forgot it again."
"Wonderful."
"Sorry, I love you."
"I love you too. The amount of adrenalin I have in my bloodstream now isn't going to help me sleep much."
"Sorry, darling."
"I love you, go to bed, I'll see you tomorrow."
Before bed mum was quieter, she came into my room and said sorry about the evening. I said I was sorry too. Domestics are never fun. She told me to sleep, I said could I read for a bit? Fine. Yes. See you in the morning, I love you, sleep well, all of that. The niceties. I slept.
I woke. The phone, Mikolaj, good morning! Distinctly more cheery attitude, definitely better day. I have my mock German speaking exam today. Right. Shower, toast and nutrigrain for breakfast, cycle to school, school stuff.
Checked emails in school. One from mum. It was good to have some sheltered contact. She said,
" I am so sorry that you have been made so unhappy. My day is going ok biz wise. I did go to visit bamps and grandmas grave this morning (made me happy but reminded me I haven't planted any bulbs which I meant to do!). I am trying to come up with a solution that makes us happy and gives you and I the space we have lost but still need. No great answers yet but cannot bear another evening like yesterday. Love you xxxx and thank m for being there for you from me." It made me feel a little better that she was as confused and upset as I was.
Exam, okay... Cycle home in the rain. Meet Mikolaj outside Sainsbury's. Good surprise. Leave bike at Sainsbury's, go home, bake cakes. Ignore homework. Be happier. Today has been good. I still want to scream but there is a little bit of progress.
One piece of advice. If you decide to walk out from home with the intention of coming back later, no matter how angry you are, don't forget you might want keys, money, and your mobile. They can be vital.
Happy (if not freaked out or weirded out) reading, folks!
First off, Mr. Wonderful did something magic to my computer and now the huge, old, whirring box I have in my room, actually has a virus protection system, which is good, because I hadn't updated it for two years (sometimes I really just don't think about how important something is). The turning point came when I tried to go on a school website, using a link through google. Trust me, when you click that link expecting "Term dates" and get something a little more along the lines of "Tits and dames" you start thinking maybe a firewall is, after all, something useful and efficient and not quite as daft as it sounds. The avast I have now is wonderful and updates every day, and the best bit of it (sorry to revolve around money for a bit) is the fact that all this clear-up was free. Brilliant for me!
Secondly, this was why the blog refused to update so the fact I can now type this with confidence is a milestone in my computer's (limited) development. Whoop!
Thirdly, I've been a little battered-not in the fish sense- the past few days. On Sunday night my father rang... the gist of the conversation was that he didn't know where his black jacket had gone. I quote... "I bet your mother gave it away. The bitch, fucking bitch..." At which point I interrupted and told him I couldn't listen to that any more, and gave the phone to my mum because I had no idea what he was talking about. He went kind of mental at her... He does that sometimes. Dad moved out a week before my tenth birthday. I'm seventeen this coming June... Does anybody in their right mind keep a jacket this long? No, sorry.
Monday night, more trouble. This time the little sister decided that telling lies wasn't such a bad thing even when she had no idea what she was talking about- for reference all you need are the words "naked, sex, bad, disallowed" and compare them with what actually occurred which was "fully clothed, stupid question, bedroom door already closed, fuck off". That was only the start. Next, the parents came home. Ohhhh, that wasn't fun. Mother comes in. Mother says she knows it didn't happen. Mother and her boyfriend argue over this- he doesn't believe his sweet little... bundle of joy... could lie to him. Guess what though, it's happened before. It'll happen again. He never gets angry at her for it and he never tells her off for anything. Argument peaked when mother's boyfriend managed to bring his own daughter's lies round to the assumption that I had lost my boyfriend his job, he had lost me mine, we were bad influences for each other. Why couldn't we follow the rules? My mother was a good influence for him, etcetera, etcetera. It was ridiculous. I dimly recall shouting something like "you have no place in saying that, this is stupid, once again for having done nothing wrong I am reduced to fuck all, thanks for fucking nothing" and walking out.
I made mistakes. I left my keys, mobile, and the majority of my money at home. This prompted my mother to call my boyfriend at around quarter past eleven, asking him if I was there. Not ony was the answer no, but also this meant that Mr. Wonderful went a little insane too. I can see why- a sixteen year old girl disappears into the night, there's no way to find her and, to top it all off, mum didn't have my new mobile number... Not that it mattered, I'd left my phone at home...
I went to talk to the father of a friend. He set things very straight. He also said he was scheduled to talk to said friend this Thursday, about her excessive drug use. And the fact that no, he wouldn't give her any money. She got three Cs at GCSE. Get into College, check. Then she failed to attend.Quit College, check. Point is, He found me on his doorstep at eleven,sobbing and freezing cold. We had a cup of tea. Lady Grey. Good stuff. I went home, not realising the trouble I'd caused with my mother... Who was outside smoking and crying non-stop. When I came round the corner from our house she half collapsed onto the pavement. It was the worst I have ever seen her, not even when my dad hit her or when her mother died or when her dad died or when I snapped my leg (clumsiness), was she one tenth as bad. It was like seeing her die, in part.
We went inside, back into the flat. Warmth was good. I said, "You can slap me now." She said, "Call Mikolaj." That was all she could get out until I'd finished the phone call. Bad phone call. He picked up the phone...
"Hallo?"
"Hey."
"Where have you been? Are you okay? Why didn't you pick up your phone?"
"I forgot it again."
"Wonderful."
"Sorry, I love you."
"I love you too. The amount of adrenalin I have in my bloodstream now isn't going to help me sleep much."
"Sorry, darling."
"I love you, go to bed, I'll see you tomorrow."
Before bed mum was quieter, she came into my room and said sorry about the evening. I said I was sorry too. Domestics are never fun. She told me to sleep, I said could I read for a bit? Fine. Yes. See you in the morning, I love you, sleep well, all of that. The niceties. I slept.
I woke. The phone, Mikolaj, good morning! Distinctly more cheery attitude, definitely better day. I have my mock German speaking exam today. Right. Shower, toast and nutrigrain for breakfast, cycle to school, school stuff.
Checked emails in school. One from mum. It was good to have some sheltered contact. She said,
" I am so sorry that you have been made so unhappy. My day is going ok biz wise. I did go to visit bamps and grandmas grave this morning (made me happy but reminded me I haven't planted any bulbs which I meant to do!). I am trying to come up with a solution that makes us happy and gives you and I the space we have lost but still need. No great answers yet but cannot bear another evening like yesterday. Love you xxxx and thank m for being there for you from me." It made me feel a little better that she was as confused and upset as I was.
Exam, okay... Cycle home in the rain. Meet Mikolaj outside Sainsbury's. Good surprise. Leave bike at Sainsbury's, go home, bake cakes. Ignore homework. Be happier. Today has been good. I still want to scream but there is a little bit of progress.
One piece of advice. If you decide to walk out from home with the intention of coming back later, no matter how angry you are, don't forget you might want keys, money, and your mobile. They can be vital.
Happy (if not freaked out or weirded out) reading, folks!
Sunday 16 January 2011
Lots to do
It seems that despite revising nearly all day I haven't got far, so Law revision is goig to cut into my sleep time tonight. Wish me luck and hope that I have fun, peeps!
By the way, I did do a post yesterday but it malfunctioned slightly and deleted the entire thing. The post was about the A-Team and Tom Morello having submitted a brilliant end credits song. It's called the A-Team Blastoff Suite. the only bit you;ll find on youtube is an instrumental, though.
Also, I said to Mr. Wonderful that today should be a work day and it means I haven't spoken directly to him all day... Unsurprisingly I feel awful now. Bed and revision....Whoop?
Happy reading, folks!
By the way, I did do a post yesterday but it malfunctioned slightly and deleted the entire thing. The post was about the A-Team and Tom Morello having submitted a brilliant end credits song. It's called the A-Team Blastoff Suite. the only bit you;ll find on youtube is an instrumental, though.
Also, I said to Mr. Wonderful that today should be a work day and it means I haven't spoken directly to him all day... Unsurprisingly I feel awful now. Bed and revision....Whoop?
Happy reading, folks!
Friday 14 January 2011
Nuts of love and wisdom?
Sometimes when my household argue I like to get really involved. I say household, and not family, because to be a family, people need to be related by blood or marriage. I am related by blood to my mother ("duh" would be appropriate here...but I digress) and by nothing to the others. So, thus, we are a household. Not a family.
Anyway, the adults have argued non-stop since eleven. That's over two hours. I have an exam...today (urgh)... and they are still up doing that weird whistpering-yelling thing, where you can tell people are really angry...But they're also trying to pretend they're not. Usually, at their (and my) expense, to no avail. What happens is "whisper whisper... SHOUT SHOUT [slam] [open by other person] [slam] *silence...* " etc.
Today they're arguing about being able to have things and being idiotic and how you can sit all bed in day moping that you've got no money but in the real world, people go to work and make up for this lack of money by actually... Er... Earning some. Fun topic! Let's see my views.
Lazy people are idiots.
I'm quite lazy, and therefore quite idiotic.
However, I can see the point person A is making.
Therefore, I'm not as idiotic. It is pretty much rendered null by the fact that depsite only having three lessons a day (sometimes four or five) I am still in school for the entire six and a half hours.... on Wednesdays usually about eight hours... It's literally just like work in the real world. Except I don't get paid.
You get paid.
But only if you go to work.
You worry about a lack of money.
IF YOU KEEP TAKING DAYS OFF WORK (worry days, I swear) YOU WILL LOSE MONEY.
It's quite simple and straightforward.
Anyway. My plan (stupid as it was but I am tired and clearly delirious) was to walk into the kitchen and give each person a nut. This I did. However, person A took both nuts, as I said (hopeful as ever) "Nuts of love and wisdom?" To which the reply was not thankyou, or thanks, or even a grunt. Instead there was a silent second, you know the one, where you think..."Well... maybe I should run now..." adn then person A simply said, "I'll take wisdom. Sod the love." At which point I nearly laughed but thought better of it.
Throughout this argument I have been doing German homework. It's interesting. We sometimes give daily accounts of occurrences and events... all of mine say the word Argument in them. Terrible.
Mr. Wonderful (name witheld for reasons such as he is easy to steal, very light and foldable like a netbook...) came round for a little today. We've talked and he's got a lot of changes happening- provisional licence, UCAS application, Coursework, Homework (now called "home learning", sod you, you over-PC bastards), etc. His family, mostly, live in Poland, so contact is fleeting. This upsets me. I wish there could be more ties. Or stronger ones.
I need to sleep, it has rained all day here (yes! England! I should really be used to it, as I've said...) and it's quite cold. But my mother put up some thermal curtains in my room (brilliant, it's ten degrees warmer in here than the rest of the flat, causing people to gravitate to my sleeping place. Weird but not too bad. I have an army of mutant squirrels to keep them at bay, courtesy of my friend Aggie) so everything is good. I need to sleep, good bye, good night, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, thanks for your time.
Happy reading, folks!
Anyway, the adults have argued non-stop since eleven. That's over two hours. I have an exam...today (urgh)... and they are still up doing that weird whistpering-yelling thing, where you can tell people are really angry...But they're also trying to pretend they're not. Usually, at their (and my) expense, to no avail. What happens is "whisper whisper... SHOUT SHOUT [slam] [open by other person] [slam] *silence...* " etc.
Today they're arguing about being able to have things and being idiotic and how you can sit all bed in day moping that you've got no money but in the real world, people go to work and make up for this lack of money by actually... Er... Earning some. Fun topic! Let's see my views.
Lazy people are idiots.
I'm quite lazy, and therefore quite idiotic.
However, I can see the point person A is making.
Therefore, I'm not as idiotic. It is pretty much rendered null by the fact that depsite only having three lessons a day (sometimes four or five) I am still in school for the entire six and a half hours.... on Wednesdays usually about eight hours... It's literally just like work in the real world. Except I don't get paid.
You get paid.
But only if you go to work.
You worry about a lack of money.
IF YOU KEEP TAKING DAYS OFF WORK (worry days, I swear) YOU WILL LOSE MONEY.
It's quite simple and straightforward.
Anyway. My plan (stupid as it was but I am tired and clearly delirious) was to walk into the kitchen and give each person a nut. This I did. However, person A took both nuts, as I said (hopeful as ever) "Nuts of love and wisdom?" To which the reply was not thankyou, or thanks, or even a grunt. Instead there was a silent second, you know the one, where you think..."Well... maybe I should run now..." adn then person A simply said, "I'll take wisdom. Sod the love." At which point I nearly laughed but thought better of it.
Throughout this argument I have been doing German homework. It's interesting. We sometimes give daily accounts of occurrences and events... all of mine say the word Argument in them. Terrible.
Mr. Wonderful (name witheld for reasons such as he is easy to steal, very light and foldable like a netbook...) came round for a little today. We've talked and he's got a lot of changes happening- provisional licence, UCAS application, Coursework, Homework (now called "home learning", sod you, you over-PC bastards), etc. His family, mostly, live in Poland, so contact is fleeting. This upsets me. I wish there could be more ties. Or stronger ones.
I need to sleep, it has rained all day here (yes! England! I should really be used to it, as I've said...) and it's quite cold. But my mother put up some thermal curtains in my room (brilliant, it's ten degrees warmer in here than the rest of the flat, causing people to gravitate to my sleeping place. Weird but not too bad. I have an army of mutant squirrels to keep them at bay, courtesy of my friend Aggie) so everything is good. I need to sleep, good bye, good night, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, thanks for your time.
Happy reading, folks!
Thursday 13 January 2011
Revision...and misery...
It's been a dreary, rain-filled day here in... Well... Rainy England. I don't know what I was expecting from this country in the middle of January, but still- one can hope!
I've been doing Sociology revision, and also managed to pick up some books from the Library free of charge (mwahaha, Law books run out of valid info after a while...So I took the statutes, cases, and the A-Z and I've literally saved about £80. Excellent!) so overall the dau has at least ended weith me having more than before. And, not to be materialistic, but the more sources I have to revise from, the better.
Sociology Topics...
Couples, Childhood, Family functions, Demography, Changing family patterns, Family Diversity and the life course, and Families and Social Policy. It's a hard life for an A-Level student. Especially when you got an A in the mock and they expect a high grade from you. Let me let you in on a little secret... That mock was the most boring, easy exam ever. All five questions were on the same topic, for Pete's sake! (whoever pete is, wow, you have a lot of people using your....sake...) Anyway, this means that my revision hasn't got vary far.
I have a glass desk, so I can take notes on it and then wipe them off once I think they're in the best order... It's a long and tedious task but it does work and therefore I continue to use it to this day.
I've been doing Sociology revision, and also managed to pick up some books from the Library free of charge (mwahaha, Law books run out of valid info after a while...So I took the statutes, cases, and the A-Z and I've literally saved about £80. Excellent!) so overall the dau has at least ended weith me having more than before. And, not to be materialistic, but the more sources I have to revise from, the better.
Sociology Topics...
Couples, Childhood, Family functions, Demography, Changing family patterns, Family Diversity and the life course, and Families and Social Policy. It's a hard life for an A-Level student. Especially when you got an A in the mock and they expect a high grade from you. Let me let you in on a little secret... That mock was the most boring, easy exam ever. All five questions were on the same topic, for Pete's sake! (whoever pete is, wow, you have a lot of people using your....sake...) Anyway, this means that my revision hasn't got vary far.
I have a glass desk, so I can take notes on it and then wipe them off once I think they're in the best order... It's a long and tedious task but it does work and therefore I continue to use it to this day.
Tuesday 11 January 2011
Bonjour!
 |
| Daunting... But I'm getting there. |
I didn't have any lessons today, until five past eleven... So I stayed in bed until quarter to nine and then did some German homework. It was wonderfully quiet and easy to get on with the work as there was nobody here to distract me. I enjoyed it. So, my day started well. Then I walked to school (trekked across the downs but forgot my coat, left that at home so I was REALLY cold) and then when I finally got to school... My teacher wasn't in! So I did some law work, which was actually quite relaxing, creating a table of the civil and criminal courts. The books I took out from the school library are quite useful. Nobody else has knowledge of them yet... Connections, connections!
 |
| Various courts... in light detail. |
 | |
| Criminal Law; English Legal System. Both | are great! |
 |
| Topic One of Chapter Two, Sociology AS Textbook. |
To put the entire Topic /Chapter thing into perspective... We only have to do Chapter Two. But there are Seven Topics within that... And it runs from page 16 to page 80. Not the most fun set of evenings I've had, I can be sure. And so can you. Tehe!
However, Law revision is fun... Seriously sometimes I think, "It's so complicated..." but in truth I enjoy it enough that that doesn't matter because I'm willing to put in the extra work to actually understand it.
Happy reading, folks! Have a good evening! I'll probably update again later.
Monday 10 January 2011
Welp. Or should that be yelp?
Maybe it should be "HELP!"...
The Critical Thinking exam I revised mucho hard for... Was quite the bad one. Actually, that's putting it lightly...It was, by far, the worst exam I have done in the history of my higher education. None of us were prepared... And I actually did the revision ( not that she told us what to revise, helpful, thanks for that...) and therefore I can't begin to imagine how the others must have felt. It was honestly shite. But I'll keep you all updated on the progress of general Critical Thinking along with my other subjects anyway.
There's a system called UCAS points which is used these days for most university courses. At the moment for an AS Level, the grades and points are sorrespondinly... A, 60, B, 50, C, 40, D, 30, and E, 20. Hopefully for Critical Thinking I can at most hope to get a B, which is 50 points towards what ever I want to do... Unfortuanately the entire thing will probably tally to les than I'd hoped, as I'm terrible at working for long amounts of time. keeping interested for more than about thirty minutes is almost impossible.
Right now... How am I feeling?
Erm. Yessss... Quite awful. I had a go at my Mr. Wonderful for absolutely bugger all and I feel like I'm just pissing him off more and more and more (and I wouldn't be surprised if he just calls a time out soon because I'm probably worse than any nagging mother...) and I want to say sorry. Publicly. Sorry, Penguin. Please don't put up with my crap, just tell me when I'm becoming a bitch... The exam today was terrible and my hand bled and I'm in pain all the time and I just wanted a hug and you couldn't get to school and that made the whole ordeal WAAAAAY more stressful and I love you and I've really missed you today.
Overall I reckon my subjects are doing okay (as in, not failing miserably but seriously not doing well...) so I need to step up things a bit but I'm so worried and caught up in other things that there isn't really time, as it would seem. Other people are more important and I'm trying to get Mr. Wonderful the things he wants (difficult, very bloody difficult) but so far it's taking a while and things are becoming INFURIATING.
Overall though... I still love my life and I'm happy because from now things will either get worse (in which case I'll have more reason to cry...good...) or better, in which case I'll be happy anyway and carry on with life.
Have a good evening!
The Critical Thinking exam I revised mucho hard for... Was quite the bad one. Actually, that's putting it lightly...It was, by far, the worst exam I have done in the history of my higher education. None of us were prepared... And I actually did the revision ( not that she told us what to revise, helpful, thanks for that...) and therefore I can't begin to imagine how the others must have felt. It was honestly shite. But I'll keep you all updated on the progress of general Critical Thinking along with my other subjects anyway.
There's a system called UCAS points which is used these days for most university courses. At the moment for an AS Level, the grades and points are sorrespondinly... A, 60, B, 50, C, 40, D, 30, and E, 20. Hopefully for Critical Thinking I can at most hope to get a B, which is 50 points towards what ever I want to do... Unfortuanately the entire thing will probably tally to les than I'd hoped, as I'm terrible at working for long amounts of time. keeping interested for more than about thirty minutes is almost impossible.
Right now... How am I feeling?
Erm. Yessss... Quite awful. I had a go at my Mr. Wonderful for absolutely bugger all and I feel like I'm just pissing him off more and more and more (and I wouldn't be surprised if he just calls a time out soon because I'm probably worse than any nagging mother...) and I want to say sorry. Publicly. Sorry, Penguin. Please don't put up with my crap, just tell me when I'm becoming a bitch... The exam today was terrible and my hand bled and I'm in pain all the time and I just wanted a hug and you couldn't get to school and that made the whole ordeal WAAAAAY more stressful and I love you and I've really missed you today.
Overall I reckon my subjects are doing okay (as in, not failing miserably but seriously not doing well...) so I need to step up things a bit but I'm so worried and caught up in other things that there isn't really time, as it would seem. Other people are more important and I'm trying to get Mr. Wonderful the things he wants (difficult, very bloody difficult) but so far it's taking a while and things are becoming INFURIATING.
Overall though... I still love my life and I'm happy because from now things will either get worse (in which case I'll have more reason to cry...good...) or better, in which case I'll be happy anyway and carry on with life.
Have a good evening!
Sunday 9 January 2011
AS Exam time...
For three out of my five subjects in AS ( the first year of A-Levels), I have exams in January. These cover "Unit 1" for each of the subjects' exam.
The timetable is as follows:
Monday January 10th, 1345- Critical Thinking AS Unit 1 (90m)
Friday January 14th , 1345- Sociology AS Unit 1 (60m)
Wednesday January 19th, 1345- Law AS Unit 1 (120m)
I'm quite looking forward to these just so they are out of the way. That's usually how I feel about exams. Get them revised for, get them done, if you do badly, do them again, it's not a big deal. If I treat things as a big deal then I get too scared about them and usually mess up (exams especially).
My Mr. Wonderful is also revising, though he doesn't have exams yet- he's just in the mood to work, and taking full advantage of that. So would I....But I'm not. Meh. Anyway, in my not-working attitude, I cycled to his house today. It's a good three or four miles. According to google maps (easiest unit at this time) The route is actually.... It won't tell me but it's pretty far, about forty five minutes on a bike (or half an hour on the bus but longer as it's a Sunday). I love you, Mr. Wonderful. Sorry about coming into your house bleeding (hehehe!)
Anyway, I have my Crit exam tomorrow so I might go and pretend to revise for that to make myself feel a little better ( I feel lazy) and to put my mind off my injuries (tehe, fell off my bike, it was quite dramatic but nothing to be too worried about. I didn't hit my head or anything, just my knee and I took a couple of little bits out of my right hand (that exam tomorrow is going to be a painful one...)
Have a good sunday evening, people!
The timetable is as follows:
Monday January 10th, 1345- Critical Thinking AS Unit 1 (90m)
Friday January 14th , 1345- Sociology AS Unit 1 (60m)
Wednesday January 19th, 1345- Law AS Unit 1 (120m)
I'm quite looking forward to these just so they are out of the way. That's usually how I feel about exams. Get them revised for, get them done, if you do badly, do them again, it's not a big deal. If I treat things as a big deal then I get too scared about them and usually mess up (exams especially).
My Mr. Wonderful is also revising, though he doesn't have exams yet- he's just in the mood to work, and taking full advantage of that. So would I....But I'm not. Meh. Anyway, in my not-working attitude, I cycled to his house today. It's a good three or four miles. According to google maps (easiest unit at this time) The route is actually.... It won't tell me but it's pretty far, about forty five minutes on a bike (or half an hour on the bus but longer as it's a Sunday). I love you, Mr. Wonderful. Sorry about coming into your house bleeding (hehehe!)
Anyway, I have my Crit exam tomorrow so I might go and pretend to revise for that to make myself feel a little better ( I feel lazy) and to put my mind off my injuries (tehe, fell off my bike, it was quite dramatic but nothing to be too worried about. I didn't hit my head or anything, just my knee and I took a couple of little bits out of my right hand (that exam tomorrow is going to be a painful one...)
Have a good sunday evening, people!
Thursday 6 January 2011
I've changed again.
When I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror (typical vanity, but there's honesty in it), I could barely see because my eyes were all puffed up. I looked like someone had broken my nose and magically hidden the bruising colour that goes with the panda eyes. I cry in my sleep sometimes and it's just a case of working out how to get on with life even when things get me down. The only thing that stops me just falling into that well of unhappiness is a man. He's very important. I said this to my mother the day I met him.
His name is Mikolaj. And this man, this fantastic person with such a vibrant and funny personality (although sometimes he puts himself down and it's silly) seems to have walked into my life out of nowhere. And I have fallen in love.
He was just talking to someone else... And it was one of those awesome moments where I realised that even though I'd never seen or spoken to him before he was going to be one of those incredibly rare and almost frustratingly interesting people. And ever since he turned round about ten seconds after I first noticed him... We got talking and he is the most important, amazing, wonderful, grumpy person in my life. I actually love his grumpiness (he doesn't realise but when he's pouting slightly and his eyebrows are all angular he looks gorgeous. Still.)
Anyway, telling my mother about it was the easiest thing ever and I am happy mainly because EVERYONE accepted us right away. Not that I'd have cared. But the point I'm trying to make here is,
Mikolaj. You are possibly the most insane and grumpy and weird and crazy person I have ever met. And you make me lose sleep and I miss you and sometimes GAWD is your ability to eat Truffles annoying (my bank account! My poor bank account!) but I love you. You make me happier than anybody else ever has and I will be thankful for that forever. Kochanie, you rock my socks and you are the insane light that leads me (and I'm sure static shocks me into slight sanity every now and then, when it's needed).
Thankyou for being wonderful and yourself and speaking Polish when you're tired and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee and making me laugh until it hurts. Thankyou for the hats with ears and the halloween visit and the Christmas of awesomeness (even though you weren't here). Thankyou for the new Year, it was the vest start to 2011 I could have hoped for. I love you. Thank you for everything. You're incredible.
His name is Mikolaj. And this man, this fantastic person with such a vibrant and funny personality (although sometimes he puts himself down and it's silly) seems to have walked into my life out of nowhere. And I have fallen in love.
He was just talking to someone else... And it was one of those awesome moments where I realised that even though I'd never seen or spoken to him before he was going to be one of those incredibly rare and almost frustratingly interesting people. And ever since he turned round about ten seconds after I first noticed him... We got talking and he is the most important, amazing, wonderful, grumpy person in my life. I actually love his grumpiness (he doesn't realise but when he's pouting slightly and his eyebrows are all angular he looks gorgeous. Still.)
Anyway, telling my mother about it was the easiest thing ever and I am happy mainly because EVERYONE accepted us right away. Not that I'd have cared. But the point I'm trying to make here is,
Mikolaj. You are possibly the most insane and grumpy and weird and crazy person I have ever met. And you make me lose sleep and I miss you and sometimes GAWD is your ability to eat Truffles annoying (my bank account! My poor bank account!) but I love you. You make me happier than anybody else ever has and I will be thankful for that forever. Kochanie, you rock my socks and you are the insane light that leads me (and I'm sure static shocks me into slight sanity every now and then, when it's needed).
Thankyou for being wonderful and yourself and speaking Polish when you're tired and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee and making me laugh until it hurts. Thankyou for the hats with ears and the halloween visit and the Christmas of awesomeness (even though you weren't here). Thankyou for the new Year, it was the vest start to 2011 I could have hoped for. I love you. Thank you for everything. You're incredible.
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