THE MEGA (PRE-) CHRISTMAS POST (featuring what I want for Christmas really)

So, it's getting to that time of year where there's that feeling in the air (or maybe they've put something in the water) that Christmas is coming up. Yes, I know it's nearly two months away. No, I don't think it's too early to be talking about it. Why? Because. Shops (well, some of them, anyway) have started putting up Christmas displays; the "present-perfect" products are being rolled, shipped, bounced, played and thrown in (much to the chagrin of any parents who now make the mighty mistake of taking their children shopping, I'm sure). These kids, they know no bounds. They'll point out stuff- "Mummy, daddy! I want that! It's so cool!"/"omigawdomigawdomigawd mummm can I have this for Christmas?!"... You know it's happening. I've seen it already. Parents the country, the world over, saying things like, "Well, if you're really REALLY good, Santa might get it for you".

Two quick things about the Santa deal, folks. One, it means children don't thank you for presents you worked hard to earn money to buy. You don't get any credit. Two, it means they think they'll always be rewarded for being good. Life ain't like that for real. Just remember that.

Shitty shoot-downs ASIDE, Santa, I've been completely unangelic this year, so please please please, get me some of these!

(note to all, I doubt I will receive any of this stuff but it's the cool additions I wish I deserved!)

My Wish List...

Item one: A self-stirring mug.

I want this for  number of reasons, the main ones being that I can't be bothered to go on a spoon-hunt every time I want coffee (or hot chocolate, or festive eggnog- homemade!) and it is also freaking awesome just because it exists. Link here. (DRAWBACK: I'll forget how to stir and then lose the mug, resorting in dependence upon others every time I want a drink with more than one ingredient.)

Item two: Whistle-activated key finder(s).

Now these, for reasons I'm sure I've handily neglected to make clear, I positively need. I am terrible with my keys. I mean it. I go to sleep, they're on the shelf in my room. I wake up, they've decided to go on holiday, take a nice stroll down the hall or go and check out another room for the fun of it. Point being, these would be really useful if nothing else. (DRAWBACK: I may somehow lose the ability to whistle. Then I'm completely screwed. At the moment when I lose my keys it takes around three to five days to find them- imagine how much time this gadget could save me!)

Item three: The MorphSuit. With the ninja detailing.

Somehow it doesn't need justification. See this awesome thing.

Item four: A non-cordless telephone.

Strange how we have to say these are weird nowadays, but I love the telephone that has its own holder and has a cord that you can twizzle around and around your finger while having difficult conversations with someone you like on the other end of the line. phones you can't walk away with, put down, and then have to press that button on the "main" base that signals you've lost- the "phonefinder" button, or whatever you want to call it. This button shows you are inept at even keeping a hold on something without legs. On the other hand, a phone with a cord can't run away. Genius, eh?

Item five: A Selk.

Now, of course you'll be wondering what this is. Unless you're amazing enough to know already, a selk is a sleeping bag, except there are separate legs and arms. And a hood. The ends of the arms unzip so you can even do stuff (like homework eating stuff and changing channels, typing and gaming) wihtout having to get out of your sleeping bag. I've got an idea that I could buy some big shoes and wear them over it so I could wear it to school and work. Winter = sorted..  Also no having to "caterpillar jump" everywhere (hilarious as it is)!

Item six: An "on this day" calendar.

Basically, you need a calendar every year. If you're like me, you also need silly facts and tidbits to tell your friends when they ask what's new (or in this case, old). It's heat sensitive too! Hot.

Item seven: Now this took me a while to find again. And it does truly make me wish (though not for long) that I were a little smaller. I give you the Razor Riprider 360. This is my toy. My mum and I went to Toys R Us (I don't know if they exist in the US and other countries, but it's a MASSIVE toystore) and tried these out. They're fun. They're easy to get the hang of. But, most unfortunately, they're not available in adult size. Bastard manufacturers.

Item eight: The skate Spinner.

A very important piece of kit that I will buy if not given, this allows figure skaters (and anyone else who wants to get dizzy) to learn to spin without travelling on the ice. Everything is explained on the (German) site here. If you can't read German, either translate it using Google or get a German-speaking friend/ stranger to help you. These help us practice and improve our spins on the ice.

This is, for now, my definitive list, minus ski socks (which "Santa" gave me last year, and were my best-loved present by far. I have no idea why, but I love ski socks.

Happy reading, folks!